Change is on my mind. Perhaps it’s the avalanche of changes brought about by the pandemic. Or maybe it’s because I’m witnessing family and friends take unplanned, as well as self-initiated, leaps into the unknown.

One thing I know for certain: change is here to stay. That may sound contradictory, but change is a constant that’s as predictable as the rising of the sun. Our attitude towards change makes all the difference in our experience.  So how can we learn to embrace this flow of life without fear or fighting the inevitable? I’ve got some ideas.

Resist the urge to judge unexpected change as good or bad

My husband and I were on an extended road trip in 2017 when dangerous, frightening wildfires hit the area next to our home in Sonoma.

Monitoring the situation from across the country in New Hampshire was especially challenging and frustrating. While my husband worried, picturing the worst, I doubled-down on my practice of being a non-judgmental observer maintaining a “wait and see” attitude. Our home was spared. Even before we returned to Sonoma, a couple who’d lost their home approached us to rent ours. We took the opportunity to explore the Pacific Northwest and, with no plan of moving, unexpectedly stumbled right onto our dream home. I couldn’t resist asking my husband, were the fires a good or bad thing for us? I’ve no doubt if you look back in your life you’ll realize that what you initially judged “bad” brought you unanticipated gifts.

Know that you have the capacity to adjust

Human beings are resilient. You’re resilient. It’s important to step back, take a deep breath, and assess situations and your capacity to face them with a clear head. When was the last time you were presented with change you didn’t anticipate? How did you handle it? What skills and which people did you rely on? What did you learn from the experience that remains useful now? When you create the space to assess things calmly you also create the space to attract the resources to deal with change. Giving yourself time and space to consider what you do have to work with allows things to fall into place serendipitously. Often your results are better than they might’ve been without the pause to think. 

This is exactly what happened to my friend Kim when the landlord told her the building she leased for her business—and sole source of income—was no longer available. Caught off guard and unhappy with the news, especially while already struggling with COVID restrictions, she fought to keep a positive attitude. And she got to work assessing her options, resources, and support network. Within a week a more desirable location was available, with excellent terms and room for growth. The change, born in frustration and disappointment, became a blessing by her courage to face the change despite her fears.

Recognize unexpected change as necessary for growth

To change is to transform. Think of the radical change a caterpillar experiences, or how a snake sheds its skin. Those changes are probably uncomfortable but necessary for them to fully come into their own and thrive. All forward movement requires leaving something behind to make way for something new to emerge. The universe provides change as a nudge so we experience life more fully and with greater variety and vitality.

Lean into the change

Our resistance to change causes pain and suffering. We have a mental construct of how things should be, how things are supposed to be, and change isn’t part of our plan. So we resist and we get angry and the change rolls right over us anyway. Years ago I realized that change was as inevitable as the ocean tide. So I made a decision. I could either continue to get wiped out by the resulting waves or I could learn to surf. It’s a lot more empowering to meet the wave head on with a sense of excitement… and enjoy the ride.

Stand up to the green meanies

Expect your fears to “come to the rescue” when confronted with change. That’s what they do but you don’t have to permit them to give you a “helping hand.” These green meanies will convince you that change is worse than the status quo. They’ll run through a series of “what if” scenarios that keeps you up at night questioning your coping abilities.

I remember a painful night about six years ago. It was late. I was tired. I was alone. And I felt especially vulnerable as I dealt with some changes I faced. The fears came at me fast and furiously: they were relentless. I turned within and pictured myself standing up and holding on to Jesus’ hand as tightly as could be, telling Him I wasn’t going to let go…no matter what. It was a long night but I made it through, grateful for the strong alternative to my fear-based thinking. Which brings me to my next point.

You’re not in control of the change but you are in control of your response to it

Change knocks on your door but it doesn’t have the power to knock you out—unless you give away your power. Give in to your fear and you give away your power to master it. There is an alternative. A Course in Miracles taught me that everything happens for me. I’m given an opportunity to use what life presents to “go to God,” as Ram Dass would say. What does this mean? It means that you initiate a change of your choice instead of reacting to old habits of fear, you seek a different way to handle the seemingly insurmountable. You withdraw your attention from the external world and enter the quiet space within. You’re effectively firing the green meanies as consultants and acknowledging your power (skill, ability, opportunity: all of these) to choose a kinder, more loving guide to deal successfully with change. Use the situation to practice seeking God’s wisdom and grace. This is the real purpose of the change presented to you.

Every day life provides us opportunities to deal with unexpected change. The ideas here will help you embrace with confidence changes heading your way and for me, with a sense of excitement, too. That’s how I feel. My sister shudders when I tell her that I holler at life to “bring it on, baby” and “show me what you got.” Inside every change is an opportunity for me to win by slaying a dragon. What could be more exciting than that?