I watched a truly incredible documentary the other night on Netflix entitled My Octopus Teacher. It touched me in ways I didn’t anticipate, probably because the story wasn’t what I expected.

The film captures and beautifully illuminates the transcendent, unifying power of love. It illustrates the undeniable intelligence and connectedness among all living things through an unlikely relationship.

Craig Foster, a South African filmmaker disillusioned and burnt–out from his work, and emotionally unavailable for his family, took time off to re–evaluate his life. He began free diving in an underwater kelp forest not far from his home near Cape Town, South Africa. While filming his experiences, an octopus captured his attention. Over the course of a year he chronicled their interaction and its profound impact on his life.

Who would imagine a love affair with an octopus? An octopus, for crying out loud! Yet on reflection it was obvious. All the telltale signs were there. There are clear-cut characteristics and attitudes that invite love to grow and develop regardless of the situation or cast of characters.

Craig Foster was at a crossroads in his life and sought refuge in an unlikely place: under water…cold water (temperatures range between 58 and 64 degrees Fahrenheit throughout the year). He disciplined himself to tolerate the temperature and hold his breath for long periods of time. He entered a silent, unknown world as an observer and to record his experiences. Every day without fail he left his comfort zone willing and open to learning and exploring something completely different and new.

He was cautious, yes. But more importantly he was curious. Curiosity relegates fear to a lesser place. It is an openness of mind that pulls one through and past any hesitation to move forward. Curiosity is a necessary ingredient for charting unknown territory. And because he was outside of his known environment, Craig was vulnerable.

As he adapted to his new world and mastered its physical aspects, his observation skills came to the forefront. Before long, he encountered and became intrigued with what is known as a “common” octopus. Inexplicably this octopus—four feet long and weighing no more than twenty-two pounds—was also willing, open, cautious, curious and vulnerable to a foreigner in its midst. And so the dance began.

After a number of encounters, and an increasing level of trust, an outstretched limb tentatively exploring Craig’s body sealed the deal. Craig sought to understand everything about the octopus’ environment and behavior. He painstakingly chronicled its comings and goings, interactions and reactions. With a sense of wonder he caught a glimpse of the interconnectedness of all life forms in this underwater sanctuary, as well as unmistakable harmony and balance.

An increased understanding led to profound respect for natural order and flow. With compassion and humility—particularly when his underwater friend was hurt and vulnerable—Craig succumbed to and accepted the intelligence governing the dynamics he witnessed. Impulses to interfere or “help” were subdued with great effort. He entered her world, grew in understanding and respect, and suspended judgment. He did not impose his views of good and bad, right and wrong. What was, was perfect.

Naturally and effortlessly, understanding led to appreciation, and appreciation to love: an invisible, internal transformation that defied logic and transcended form. The undeniable actions that we might perceive as tenderness, evident in the interaction, captures a connection beyond our limited intellectual comprehension. These two living creatures—man and octopus—briefly shared a physical and an invisible, energetic space.

The experience positively impacted Craig’s life and enriched his relationship with his son. He enthusiastically shared his love for this fascinating underwater world and they developed a bond that didn’t exist before. He also co-founded the Sea Change Project, a nonprofit group to protect marine life and raise awareness of the importance of South Africa’s kelp forest.

Water is considered a sacred symbol of healing, cleansing and renewal. I think it’s fair to say that over a course of a year Craig experienced an emotional cleansing, recharged his batteries, and found his passion. He emerged a changed man with a changed perspective.

I couldn’t help but see this beautiful, extreme example as a template for interactions with each other, particularly those who think and look differently from ourselves. Are we willing to transcend appearances, stereotypes, and personalities to discover our common connection? Surely the differences we perceive culturally and politically can be reinterpreted to build bridges and unite us. Love connects, harmonizes, and balances every note in the song of life.

The characteristics and attitudes to heal divides is inherent in our true nature but they are buried under our self-made prejudices. We have to exhibit a little willingness, openness, curiosity, vulnerability, trust, understanding, and respect to cross artificial divides among us. With discipline, one can suspend judgment and learn to appreciate, like a field of multi-colored wild flowers, the beautiful diversity of the human race. This opens the door to our heart and paves the way for love.

It’s time to leave our comfort zone, rediscover our hidden treasure, and reach out to one another, maybe tentatively at first but willing to be surprised and rewarded with a kinder perspective.