Last summer I took a road trip with my son Brent. I helped him move his “stuff” from Seattle, Washington to his new home in Laguna Beach, California. Not having a large budget, he opted to rent a 15 -foot U-Haul truck to reduce his moving expenses.

Neither of us had ever driven a truck before so we were in unfamiliar territory, however, we were both certain our largest expense would be gas. We anticipated getting fewer miles per gallon than we experienced with our cars.

Being the middle of August, the weather was quite hot. My son settled into the driver’s seat, turned on the engine and then reached for the air conditioning switch. As he did, being mindful of his budget, I told him that if we used the air conditioner we would burn even more fuel so it might be best to just roll down the windows. I “knew” this was so because that is what my Mom always said when we drove around in our blue, wood-paneled, Ford station wagon as kids begging for relief from the heat.

Trusting that his Mom did know best, and wanting to avoid unnecessary costs, he complied and for the next couple of days we drove with the windows down. It was noisy and we were hot as hell but the fear of spending more than seemed prudent guided our actions.

When we arrived in Laguna Beach, my sister, Matisun, and my brother-in-law, Jerry, were there to help us unload the truck. Since Brent and I were literally soaking wet, Jerry asked if our air conditioner was broken or whether we even had one. As Brent went inside his house, I explained that we didn’t want to use more gas than necessary. My brother-in-law looked at me with disbelief. What? And then he started laughing. Always one for a good laugh I wanted in on the fun. Between snorts he explained that I had it all wrong. He told me why but it was over my head and besides I was too dumbfounded, realizing that I had lived with this belief for more than fifty years, never questioning it. Maybe it was true once but certainly not today. The absurdity of my thinking struck me and of course I had to laugh, with legs double-crossed, I was laughing so hard! Even now as I write this I chuckle.

Always one seeking the gift, or lesson, in a situation, I realized that this incident – fortunately a humorous and harmless one – presented me with an excellent illustration of how our beliefs shape our actions and, consequently, our experience. How many of us have had a difficult and uncomfortable journey because we assumed the beliefs of our parents, teachers, society? How many of us now feel trapped by our beliefs?

I learned long ago that I had adopted, or “swallowed whole,” as I like to say, beliefs that weren’t congruent with my values, and that didn’t represent or serve me. Often, they were beliefs driven by fear. I’ve worked hard to uncover and examine them and to consciously adopt new, empowering ones. Sometimes, my way of thinking goes against the grain of others, but I’ve learned to honor what I feel is true for me, regardless of how others think, or whether they approve or not.

Beliefs, as this story clearly shows, can be so ingrained that we’re ignorant about how they drive and influence us. We’re on autopilot, unaware that if we brought our unquestioned beliefs to light we could choose differently. We could redirect our thinking; this in turn would inform our actions, resulting in an altered, “differently informed” life experience. It’s literally a way to harness the basic law of cause and effect and have it work for us rather than against us.

No doubt this won’t be the last time I’ll have a knee-jerk reaction based on an old, unexamined belief. I’m prepared to look it in the eye, question it’s source and feel grateful for the opportunity.

Marguerite LaDue

2/2/16