Growing up, my family, friends, and I played a lot of board games. The goal of the games—whether Monopoly^®, or Trouble^®, or checkers— is of course to win. Monopoly’s^® objective is literally to monopolize the board by acquiring more money and property than anyone else. Trouble^®, with its plastic dome-covered dice, encourages us to stir up trouble. We knock off our competitors and prevent them from reaching “home” safely. Oh, the many family squabbles, grandparents included, that game initiated! And checkers challenged us to strategically out maneuver our opponent, crushing their emissaries as they march toward our side of the game board. There’s always a winner and a loser.

I don’t particularly like games. And the one game that I really don’t care for is the modern-day version of the board game Life^®. It was created in 1860 by Milton Bradley and became America’s first popular parlor game. Its launch was marketed as the “Checkered Game of Life,” intending to capture the up-and-down nature of life as experienced by Milton Bradley himself. Its goal was to educate children about ethics with emphasis on vice, virtue, and happiness. Consequences of the game’s choices included suicide, poverty, disgrace, and jail. The original game didn’t include money. The message? The path to the good life is the moral high road. The goal? A happy old age. Bradley didn’t include dice because they were associated with gambling.

After Bradley died in 1911, the game transformed, reflecting the increasingly materialistic American dream. Money was introduced and success was measured by profit and loss rather than virtue. I grew up with the 1960 version that commemorated the game’s 100^th anniversary.

To play, I “drove” a little car with room for six people around the landscape of the life board. I spun the wheel and traveled through “life” faced with decisions about whether I wanted to go to college or to work; get married or stay single; start a family or be an empty nester; buy a home or rent; get insurance or take a risk; spend my earnings or save for retirement. I “won” if I ended the game with the most money and landed safely and securely in retirement. The game intends to simulate life: to a degree it does.

The game, as real life does, requires us to make choices. These choices have consequences. Better choices, greater success. What I dislike is the definition of success. He who has the most stuff wins.This idea, the primary influence that permeates the game also dominates our lives. I know, I played that game for most of my life. After achieving “success” by society’s standards, I realized it was an empty prize.

Today I use a different measurement system. I measure success by how much love is in my life. My experience is determined by my choices but now I realize the choice is always between fear and love. Am I asking my little self or my big Self for guidance? Is my goal to be right or happy? These are the choices that matter.

I prefer the game of “hide and seek.” If played correctly, and with vigilance, everyone can win. It’s not a matter of dividing up a limited pie and fighting to get your fair share. It’s not me against you. Our treasure —the love we are in truth—is hidden. We seek this love by our choice to turn within and ask our better Self to show us what lies beyond appearances and behavior, the true essence of the individual. We surrender our “I know” mind, and reliance on our physical senses, and defer to our internal guide. Only then will we find the love we’re seeking reflected back to us.

It’s a game that calls for collaboration and a willingness to look where we don’t tend to look—within our own hearts and within the hearts of others.The rules of the game go against everything we’ve been taught to believe and value. Rather than seeing differences and separate interests we join on a higher, invisible level, the level of love.

We must learn to ask so we can see differently, to want only to see love. That’s what makes it challenging and worth playing. Actually we’re always playing whether we’re aware of it or not because we face endless opportunities to see the game of life differently: to see it through the eyes of love. The rules of the game are simple, but mastering the game is not easy. Drop all judgment, opinions, and beliefs, anything you think you know. Show up, be present, ask for guidance and seek what’s hidden right in front of you.

This is a game I love to play. It keeps me on my toes, and I win or lose with each choice. I’m not chasing an illusive dream of far-off success with empty promises. If I seek only for love, I will find it and experience it…now. Don’t be afraid to rewrite the rules of the game. And don’t set your sights on something unworthy of the real you. Go for love as the prize and everything you can possibly desire will follow in its wake.