Many years ago, when my stepdaughter was studying for her confirmationin preparation for marrying in the Catholic Church, she came to me anxious to share something she’d read. She was clearly moved by an incredibly beautiful passage from the Book of Matthew:

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

The memory is vivid in my mind, and one of my fondest, due to her reaction. It was a revelation, a new thought of great comfort, and of hope. The words touched her heart because they rang true, although she couldn’t articulate exactly why if I asked her. It was heartwarming to witness. It touched my heart, too.

This directive, spoken by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, is concise, spiritual instruction and deep with meaning. It provides clear guidance on what it takes to experience the love of God, and the peace that “passeth understanding.” The first thing I notice is the specific call to action: ask, seek, knock. Take the initiative: this is not a passive path. Nor is it “vicarious salvation,” where we’re saved through someone else’s efforts, or when enough people do the heavy lifting. Love, a choice of free will, awaits our invitation, and does not coerce or cajole. We are assured when we take action we’ll get results. There is always a direct correlation between the action and the results. Not maybe, not sometimes. Always. The quality of our results is determined by what we desire.

Ask and it shall be given

Are we able to ask? What exactly are we asking for? To whom are we asking? Who is our designated authority?

Most of my life, I’ve had a very tough time “asking.” Fiercely independent, I figured things out on my own. When I was four years old, I received my first comic book from Santa Claus. My mom wanted to help me read it, and I stubbornly refused. I didn’t know how to read and I knew it. My mom knew it. Yet I insisted I could do it myself. Mom was hurt and incredulous: her little prodigy wasn’t accepting any authority, and she wouldn’t ask. When we ask, we acknowledge that we do not know. For many of us, that’s difficult.

Later, when it came to asking God for help, I felt I couldn’t approach Him until I was worthy and had my act together. “I’ll fix myself first so I deserve to ask.” HA! I believed asking, or prayer, was to an entity “out there” to give me “stuff” and solve my specific problems. God as servant at my beck and call.

How do we ask? Are our minds open or do we want what we want and that’s that? My sister and I laugh at how we’d tell God very specifically what we wanted, and that we wanted what we wanted—our way.

Asking takes a humble and open mind, and a willingness to listen and receive. Key words: listen and receive, meaning that we surrender “I know” for “thy will be done.” A Course in Miracles tells us that our only need is forgiveness, to see truly. The Comforter within is the Authority, for only He knows how to separate truth from illusion.

Seek and ye shall find

It’s critical to determine what we seek, and where we can find it. To seek is to look. If we look, we believe we don’t have, and we must value what we’re looking for or we wouldn’t make the effort.

I’ve sought many things in my quest for happiness—a “special” relationship, financial security, right livelihood, purpose—believing all were “out there.” As A Course in Miracles says, regardless of the form, “everyone is looking for himself, and for the power and glory he thinks he has lost.” Thankfully, I now understand that my search is internal, and that the only thing I truly seek is to “know thyself.” Herein lies our power to choose truly and from which all good things flow.

Friedrich Nietzsche, who frequently called for a reevaluation of the values of the Judeo-Christian world, said, “We are unknown to ourselves… and with good reason. We have never sought ourselves, [so] how could it happen that we should ever find ourselves?”

Knock and it shall be opened

Where are we directing our efforts? What doors do we want to open? More importantly, what are we willing to risk to reach the other side?

The doors we hesitate to knock on and open are those that reveal our fears. Our fears appear real and impenetrable. They close our minds to truth and block the experiences of joy and happiness. Are we willing to question our fear, to stare it down? I find that when I do, my fear, which felt so impenetrable, yields to inquiry and dissolves into nothingness. My mind opens to new possibilities and releases me from the grip of fear. Yes, it’s a bit unnerving not only to see the closed doors, but also to feel myself reaching for the doorknob. With a little willingness, trust, and faith, I’ve learned to walk through, knowing I will arrive safely on the other side.

At some point we recognize that the only question to ask is, “is it true?” the only thing we seek is our Self, and the only place to knock is on the door of our mind.