Recently, a friend shared a Slavic folk tale figure, popular with his high school students, named Baba Yaga. I was intrigued that she ate children and, unlike other witches, could not be killed. I commented that seemed like an awfully scary story for young minds. But he explained the tales were designed to teach children about the monsters they may encounter in their lives, and he wanted to encourage them to find resourceful solutions.
I asked my friend if he believes in monsters. He said yes, to which I replied, “Well, I don’t.”
I could see it took him by surprise.
“What about Hitler? He was certainly a monster,” my friend commented.
“Hitler was not a monster. He was unconscious,” I responded.
Since this is a fairly new friendship I figured I wouldn’t pursue the topic, certain my “against the grain” thinking would have him questioning what kind of person he was hanging around with.
But the dialogue stuck with me and seemed relevant given our current world environment. I challenged myself to see if I could write a blog to clearly articulate my position. I realize I may be on a slippery slope with many readers but I’m committed to exposing the thinking that has resulted in much happiness and peace for me.
Words represent ideas, so I do my best to be precise in my word choice, which helps me to be crystal clear in my thinking. Distinctions are key to me. One of the definitions of “monster,”, according to Merriam-Webster is “an extremely wicked or cruel person.” Most people would simply say Hitler was a bad man, end of story. To me his thinking was faulty and so his behavior was wicked and cruel, not the man himself. A Course in Miracles has taught me that the essence of all of us—Hitler included—is love. He was unconscious, or unaware, of this truth and was listening to, believing, and being guided by fear and not the voice for love within his mind. His crime was mental illness. He believed something that did not exist in truth. Is he a bad man or a sick man?
Long ago I exchanged my close-minded belief in “bad people” to a belief that “there are no bad people, only misguided ones.” This came directly from an “ah ha” moment I had when contemplating the rationale for the childhood abuse I experienced from my father. Somewhere a thought surfaced. Your father is not bad, he is sick.” Hmmm, now that’s something to consider. “Sick” meant unwell; that he was perhaps in pain and needed help. This distinction made all the difference in the world. That tiny shaft of light offered me an opportunity to see him differently, with compassion, and eventually, with love. This healed and freed both of us from the judgment and condemnation I held.
The sickness all our so-called monsters are suffering from is a lack of love. Being unconscious of the love within them, they project their fear and self-condemnation onto others; we end up with monstrous attitudes and behavior that is contagious and spreads exponentially like a virus. The fear within our minds eagerly bears witness to these “bad” people and down into the swamp we all go.
I choose to see differently. Sickness calls for healing. I see a brother in pain crying out for love. Rather than reinforce his fear, and thereby mine, I pray to see him truly and through the eyes of love, appealing within me to “the perfect love that casts out fear.” In this way I remove the barriers to love’s presence and instead am able to hold the vision for others and myself of our true identity. This vision is what raises me above perceived differences with another and reminds me of our common heritage. I have the power to stop faulty thinking where it begins —in my mind—and to dispel fear with love. This does not mean we condone monstrous behavior. It means we no longer condemn the person and add to the madness, but instead offer healing and hope, and doesn’t that feel like the right response?
Marguerite LaDue
November 6, 2016
Malvina Simon says
My Dear Marguerite,
As you well know I love you dearly!
Slippery ground for sure…As you well know I support your position regarding coming from a place of love and compassion, but choosing Hitler as an example is really stretching it!
Hitler was certainly unconscious about being HUMANE but he made very conscious decisions that brought the world to it’s knees. Murdering and torturing millions of children, women and men I believe is inexcusable. He ripped babies out of their mother’s wombs, did heinous experiments on twins, tried to destroy entire races of people, the list goes on ad nauseam!!
If that does not fit the word “monster’ as defined by the dictionary I cannot imagine what does. I do understand where you are coming from with this, but I do believe in certain situations, there is no way to excuse monstrous behavior. By doing so it gives this type of monstrous behavior an excuse! OOO
Marguerite LaDue says
Mal thank you so much for your impassioned, sincere and loving response! Yes for sure I chose an example that has tremendous emotional charge to it. This is how the world works – degrees for everything – a little of this is not as harmful as a lot of that. This is where we get tricked up. My thinking informs me that we are either coming from love or we are not; we are coming from Truth or we are not. No shades of gray.
You are absolutely correct Hitler made very conscious decisions that brought the world to it’s knees. My point is he made those decisions from a sick mind, from a fearful mind. That sickness in no way changes his Truth and the Truth of all of us – we are love and have forgotten this. I believe our purpose is to remember and the best way I have learned how is to see someone else, as “monstrous” as they may appear, with love. Yes the behavior that results from this thinking is not excusable however we can choose to see beyond our five senses and to open our minds and hearts to joining and love. I in no way wish to coerce anyone I am simply trying to expose my thought processes and to share that my experience thinking this way enables me to deal with all of the “monsters” I encounter, in various forms, throughout the day with love and compassion resulting in much peace and happiness. Am I perfect? Hell no but I have a practice that helps me suffer less and experience joy more. Thanks sweetheart as your comments help me clarify my thinking even more. I love you. xoxoxo
Donna Colfer says
Beautifully written! Thank you for the reminder that love and forgiveness is much more healing than fear. It’s not always easy to do when we’ve been taught our whole lives to do the opposite. Time for a newer and more peaceful point of view which you are giving here! Thank you, Marguerite! Love, Donna
Marguerite LaDue says
Thank you Donna. Oh the resistance to doing this is so great! As I’ve learned through my study of A Course in Miracles we must unlearn everything we have taught ourselves. It’s not easy yet my experience has shown me that when I’m willing to open my mind and entertain a different perspective life becomes so much more rewarding and effortless. Love you honey. xoxo
Rose-Marie Frojd says
Marguerite,
That is so true, well written, I totally am with you in that thinking! Thank you for sharing!
Much Love,
Rose-Marie
Marguerite LaDue says
Rose-Marie so glad to know that we think similarly. Hitler is an extreme example yet this way of thinking applies to any and all difficulties we find ourselves in and enables us, as no doubt you experience, to live more freely and peacefully. Thank you for sharing. With love xoxoox
Eileen says
Bravo Marguerite. I especially love that last paragraph.
Marguerite LaDue says
Thank you Eileen, I’m happy this blog appealed to you! Tough changes to engrained, wide-spread thinking but oh the rewards!!
Pamela says
Marquerite,
I am reading your blog as I sit in my 86 -year- old mother’s hospital room and couldn’t agree with you more. Mother is in the height of another one of her manic bi-polar episodes sparked by a urinary tract infection. Normally a beautiful, brilliant, kind and rather demure lady, she is paranoid. Her mind cannot stop racing. I do not recognize her face as hateful babbling and animal-like sounds spew from her mouth. She is reacting to hallucinations. People are chasing her. Trying to hurt her. Monsters, she says. This is painful and heart-breaking to watch as a daughter. Especially when she turns her anger toward me.
I was 16 when it happened the first time. I looked at the disease as a monster that was possessing her. I suffered greatly. I reacted with fear and wanted to control it – make it go away and pretend it never happened. I could not see that by doing this I was in my own crazy-making mind believing in and actually feeding monsters myself.
46 years later I sit here day after day quietly tending my own thoughts that still, at times, want to take back over. But now I understand the disease is not a monster, it is an imbalance. It is not the essence of my mother. I agree with you. The most loving response is to show up, anchor myself in the light and respond with love to the beauty I see within her. Breath. After breath. After breath. Thank you, my wise friend, for your beautiful reminder this day.
Marguerite LaDue says
Jay I so appreciate you sharing such a personal experience and for articulating how you are actively practicing a different way of seeing. I join with you in holding your mother in the light of her truth and am so grateful that you are willing and courageous enough to find a better, more loving and peaceful way to deal with such an emotional and challenging situation. Something that helped me when I would walk into my mother’s hospital room (done far more often than seemed fair) – I would look at her and silently say within me “you are wholly loved and wholly loving.” It didn’t matter how many times I had to remind myself of this truth as it helped me to reinforce her light and mine as well and to give her and myself a much needed gift of peace, not fear. Holding you in the light of your beautiful Self. I love you xoxoxo
John Zephir says
Hi Marguerite,
First I had to a take a super deep breathe when I read this post. My initial reaction before reading it was oh no she didn’t lol. Having said, that these are very deep and profound statements that are hard for most people to digest. But it is rooted in truth which is shared in many biblical scriptures , we are reminded to hate the sin (or condemned action) but love the sinner ( the doer of those actions). While Hilter is an extreme example and probably sends shivers down most peoples spine but believe or not he was just a man that truly was misguided in his thoughts and his deed which you deemed as illness or sickness. Whether that is the correct term for it or not is really not relevant. What we are called to do is always love first and offering healing to all. I do not view myself as a religious person but I have strong christian beliefs and Christ have given the ultimate example of offering up his life for all of mankind. I remember having a conversation with a pastor one day and recall making the comment that there are going to be a lot of confused people in heaven asking each other how did “so and so get here”. It is always easy to judge when you are not in the situation or have the fullness of how things come to be. It was Christ who challenged the accusers of the woman caught in the act of adultery by simply stating “he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone”. These comments where directed at holy men of the day and one by one they dropped their rocks and dispersed. Christ simply then asked her where are all of your accuser? She responded they are gone and he sent her on her way. So the net of what I am saying is we are called to see beyond pain, suffering, sin or whatever you want to call it, and should always extend love and healing to others. Easy to say but hard to put into practice but that should be our desire and the meditation of our heart. How not to Judge, how to love and how to heal. I think the article is bold and challenging on how we view the world through our lenses.. All the best ..
xoxoxo
JZ
Marguerite LaDue says
Oh John you put it so eloquently! Yes we are called to extend love and healing to others and when we do this it is actually extended to ourself as evidenced by the peace we feel and experience. It is very hard to put into practice as it goes against the grain of the predominant thinking in the world. My inspiration comes from Jesus as despite the hatred projected on to him his overriding message as demonstrated by his words and actions is “teach only love for that is what you are.” And yes I pray to not judge and to see truly as he did. Thank you so much for sharing. I love you. xoxo
Matisun says
Wow – extremely powerful! And a very courageous post! I join you in the truth of our being- we remain as God created us! This is not easy subject matter and the ego always feels the need to condemn and punish where in my heart I feel God is kinder than that. I believe He remains unconditionally loving, and we’re not used to that kind of Love. I hear God whispering to all those who have forgotten who they are and have acted without love; “You have been mistaken, choose again. I shall keep your True Identity safe for you.” I have known His grace when I have forgotten who I am and thought or acted lovelessly, toward myself or others- it is the most precious of gifts. Thank God for God or we’d be doomed….We all yearn for our innocence, and compassion and forgiveness help us experience that- by the grace of God may we open our hearts to love and forgiveness. May God give us the strength and courage to be willing to see things differently….
Marguerite LaDue says
Thank you so much Sis. Yes this is not easy subject matter and emotions run high. Yet I feel strongly, as you do, that we are being called to remember and see the truth of ourselves and all our brothers and sisters and to love when it appears hardest to do so. It’s easy to love someone that is lovable yet can we challenge ourselves to love those that are not with the understanding that that is what they are crying out for? Every time I can see past the deed and love the truth of the individual I am actually reinforcing the love I believe I am and not adding to the fear.
So grateful we’re walking this walk together. I love you. xoxox
Keith says
Marguerite,
Nicely written. We must never forget that even Hitler, being unconscious and in his illusionary world and all the horrible things that he had done,still had a soul underneath it all. Best article you have written my opinion.
xxxooo
Keith
Marguerite LaDue says
Well put Keith! Yes underneath it all is the truth of who he is and while he has forgotten we can remember for him. Thank you honey. I love you xooxo
Jarrett says
This is disgusting. This is the thought process that got Trump elected. As someone who was raised Jewish, I’m unbelievably disappointed of you.
Marguerite LaDue says
I’m sorry you feel this way Jarrett and no doubt you’re not alone. I understand. Am simply presenting another way of looking at our “monsters.” For sure it was an extreme example and to my way of thinking there are no exceptions or degrees. Radical? Yes. But if we’re going to stop the insanity we have to stop doing what we’ve always done and be willing to see things differently. I love you. xoxo